If I were going to come up with some New Year’s Resolutions this year, I would probably have to include: Blog More! Because I’m turning out to be a very lame blogger.
In my defense, I have a lot going on. The holidays, the kids, the divorce. Oh yes, the divorce. I tentatively have some good news about my contentious and brutal and interminable divorce, which has been dragging on now for more than two years: It might be over soon. The attorneys assure me that things look good this time.
Then again, they also say, “You never know for sure. Remember who you’re dealing with.”
So I’ve just decided to skip resolutions this year. They never work out for me anyhow, and they usually just end up making me stressed out and feeling like a big old failure. My divorce already makes me feel these things, so why put even more pressure on myself?
So this year I simply resolve to keep on moving forward towards a better place. And not to lose my mind in this final stretch. To continue to take care of myself and my kids. To ask for help when I need it. To laugh. To put aside the divorce and other worries whenever I can.
Basically, I’m working on grace and dignity – and humor, for when grace and dignity fall short.
And in case my lawyers call me tomorrow and say that there has been another delay, another setback, I will keep this little Anne Lamott gem in my back pocket:
“But grace can be the experience of a second wind, when even though what you want is clarity and resolution, what you get is stamina and poignancy and the strength to hang on.”
No matter what, 2014 will bring an end. I just resolve to hang on. Happy New Year!