Stress and Divorce

So, is it a problem that I scored a 622 on the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale? And that any score over 300 puts you into the “You have a high or very high risk of becoming ill in the near future” category?

The test is pretty straightforward. You simply answer yes to anything you’ve experienced in the past 1-2 years.

Divorce: yes

Death of close family member: yes

That sort of thing.

So here’s the good news: if I take out separation and divorce, which obviously won’t happen again anytime soon, my score drops to 449.

Okay, still not good enough. Hopefully I won’t be gaining any new family members, and I won’t be moving again: down to 390.

Still not good enough. But getting better.

With the exception of the death of a spouse, divorce and separation are the highest stressors in life. That is amazing to me.

Divorced women – especially divorced moms – need to be kind to ourselves. We need to take care of ourselves. The cost of neglecting ourselves is too high.

Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale Test


One thought on “Stress and Divorce

  1. I scored myself early on by the stress-scale and I also rated very high. Then things settled down (denial phase) only to come roaring back with sustained stress levels for a very long time. I think divorce is much more stressful than a death because it goes on and on and you have to deal with all those other stresses on the list such as moving home, change in social situation, change in financial situation, increased arguments with family members (if you can count an ex-husband as ‘family’) let alone the emotional fall-out of the separation itself and the baggage that goes with it and loss of self-esteem etc. A very stressful time. Like you, I am glad that my score is finally dropping lower.

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