Resilience is Resilient

An unremarkable day except that I asked my babysitter to stay late, until 5:30 pm, so that I didn’t have to rush out of work like usual, leaving deadlines unmet, which makes me worry all night.

The extra 90 minutes made the biggest difference. I got more done at work. I am calmer. My children finished their homework before I got  home.

I don’t want to do this every day, but once or twice a week is going to be a necessity so that I don’t go crazy from the stress.

It’s past 9 pm here, and I just realized that my children didn’t fight at all this evening. I allowed my son to stay awake to watch the end of the SU/UNC basketball game, and then he went to bed relatively easily, after halfheartedly trying to convince me to play Blackjack with him for a few minutes.

My son called his grandfather tonight and told him that our new house is “great.” That we have two stoves, which is cool because “his mom” cooks stuff in both of them at the same time. That his room “is coming along” with a new bed and bureau, and some NY Giants fatheads on their way to our house. That he’s had lots of friends over to visit, and there’s lots of space here. Interestingly, he didn’t complain that the blue I chose for his walls doesn’t match the Giants shade exactly, or that his bedroom is smaller than his sister’s room.

My daughter made her own lunch tonight, carefully washing each raspberry individually, before tucking everything into her lunchbox. She agreed to try out again tomorrow for Ballet III, exhibiting her typical resilience that has only wavered a few times during the hideous divorce. Each time, I worried it was gone for good. But as a friend says, “Resilience is resilient.”

Now it is snowing lightly with a high probability of a two-hour school delay tomorrow morning. The storm of the century missed us, which is very disappointing to my children, but they are upstairs quietly reading in bed, and all is warm and peaceful in our home.

I’m not used to peaceful. I like it.

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One thought on “Resilience is Resilient

  1. You’re on your way. More and more says like this are in your future. So happy for you. And don’t judge yourself too harsly when the wheels fall off again, which they will. So happy for your beginning. Hugs!

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