Little Divorce Miracles

We have a three-day holiday weekend, all sports are cancelled, the grandparents are coming to town, and my daughter gets to go out to a special Valentine’s Day brunch with her auntie on Sunday.

Sometimes it’s good to have no practices, games, Superbowl parties, or other obligations. Just family.

Tonight my kids and I piled on the couch to watch HGTV, our dorky new obsession every since we bought the new house. My son is obsessed with demolition – I’m afraid I’ll come home from work one day and find that he’s knocked down a wall. My daughter falls in love with every house she sees in every country across the world, picking out the tiniest points of beauty in each one: an arched doorway, pink geraniums in a clay pot.

And I silently pop-psychoanalyze all the couples who decide to give it all up and move to Costa Rica or Thailand.

I usually decide that they will be quite happy.

My son would not stop talking tonight. He has been chatting all the time lately. I asked him how he was feeling.

“Great!” he said.

I asked him why.

“I don’t know. We don’t have to do anything this weekend! And you know, I feel like I’m coming out of a lot of stuff.”

“What kind of stuff?” I asked.

“Oh you know the divorce,” he answered.

I wanted to talk so much more about it, but I know there’s lots of time for this. I just told him I felt the same way.

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5 thoughts on “Little Divorce Miracles

  1. As much as one tries to behave ‘normal’, it is impossible whilst going through a divorce process. Then there is the ‘forever’ of how it will be after that, ie creating a new “normal”. It seems as if you are reaching that space and your son feels happy in that space too. Well done! You have come a long way.

    • Thank you. I thought I was finally out of the tunnel last fall. Now I see we are just beginning to emerge. It’s so bright that it’s scaring me a little.

      Elizabeth, we were in the tunnel for so long that it became “normal.” I don’t know how that happened. I entered the tunnel a long long time before my children did, thank goodness.

      So I suppose we have to look back to understand. And then keep moving forward into the new normal?

      • I know what you mean about the tunnel, and that become ‘normal’. It is scary when you emerge. I keep looking over my shoulder expecting something bad to happen. And it catches me a little bit, to realize that it doesn’t and that it is now safe and (as you say) bright.

      • I’ve been told it’s a bit of mild PPSD, at least in my case. Normal is scary. Expectations are higher than when you’re dealing with a traumatic divorce and all you need to do is survive. Now we have to relearn how to live. Sigh.

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